You are wonderful. Actually, you are perfect.
HOLD ON A SECOND. You were created perfect. Why in the world does someone or something have permission to tell you differently? They don’t. I don’t care who it was that made you feel that way – they were wrong – you, my friend, are wonderful.
One day, (not that long ago) I accidentally came face to face with my deepest fear (what I believed to be my truth) and it nearly broke my heart. I was speaking with my friend about her learning challenge. She was explaining how she could never do this, wasn’t able to do that, and then someone finally put a name to it. I had never heard anyone say something so openly. As she was speaking, I found myself shaking my head in acknowledgement. “Hmm, yeah, exactly! Wait, no way.. me too! That’s how I felt too!” It was mind blowing. I was surprised how easy I could relate. It struck me hard and made me wonder if I wasn’t alone. Naturally, afterwards I called my mother to tell her how fascinating the conversation was and how I felt like I knew the feeling. Never in a million years could I have guessed what happened next.
As flat, and as frankly as anyone has ever said anything to me in my life… my mother said, “Sweetheart, we have always known that you had this challenge. We just never said anything because you did well school in spite of it.”
I really can’t explain the way I felt when I heard those words other than complete and total disbelief.
In two sentences, thirty years into my life, my mother knocked my deepest belief and core understanding of myself on its ass. My entire life, I had chosen three words to define myself, awful, terrible words – lazy, careless and stupid. My mind started racing and my three words, that were laying on the ground in front of me began putting up the fight of their lives. They fought so damn hard.
- Wait, what…. But, I always made mistakes. (Careless)
- Hold on, no – I mean look at my sister she was much better at this than me. (Stupid)
- Okay, but you could never get me to do this… (Lazy)
Okay, now what?
My mom was baffled at my response because it had so clearly been the reality to her for so long. She said one more thing before she got off the phone, “Honey, you were in all honors classes and you got mostly A’s. How in the world could you think that you were stupid?”
In that moment, I found sympathy for myself, kindness and compassion. I realized that those words had never defined me, but instead they were how I chose to define myself. And then, truth be told, I was sad. I was sad because I realized how unnecessarily harsh I had been to myself my entire life. It was incredibly overwhelming. I mean seriously – if those words and that belief wasn’t who I actually was… then…
Who was I?
If I could handle that my whole life… I was unstoppable. Holy cow, I was wonderful. Clearly, I sobbed. I sobbed in relief. I sobbed in disbelief. I sobbed because I was free and I was unstoppable.
If I am wonderful, then you are wonderful. We are all wonderful and perfect. We just need to get the heck out of our own ways. We need to tell ourselves every day that we are wonderful and that we are perfect. We need to know that we can change our lives. We have to know that we can make anything happen. All of that positive juju, you have earned it and the more that you believe it – the more that will come your way.
Loving yourself might be one of the hardest things to do, but you deserve it.
You are wonderful.